FUNNY Are you? Is this? Go ahead, submit something to FUNNY.
How to submit?
Follow the intructions below & mail to prime63@cox.net...
COVER LETTERS No need.
PASTE Your entire document into the e-mail message. We can’t open attachments from you until we trust you. And we just don’t trust you yet.
SUBMITTING multiple things each month is fine. Just submit one piece per email.
FORMATTING. KISS is not just a group of grown men in heels and clown make up preaching Satan worship, it is also an acronym that applies to how we would like you to format your pieces: KEEP IT SIMPLE SALLY.
CURLY QUOTES / SMART APOSTROPHES / CLEVER SYMBOLS _Please ensure that the pasted-into-e-mail version of your submission does not contain “curly quotes” or “smart quotes” or any other kind of allegedly intelligent punctuation. In our email, it may very well look like this:
“I’get up get get get down’t nine one one is ’s copy of ‘a joke’s in your town, ’ ” O’ nine one one is a joke.
YOUR NAME Should be on your submission. Put your name and phone number under the title of your piece. Absolutely all submissions must look like this:
I’M BRILLIANT [story title]
By [author’s name]
(555) 555-5555 [phone number]
myemail@yahoo.com [e-mail address]
The e-mail address listed should be the one you would like to appear linked to your byline should we choose to publish your submission. If you do not want your e-mail address linked to your byline, please tell us so.
YOUR SUBJECT LINE should indicate what section you are submitting for.
AUTHOR BIOS may be sent as well, but are not required.
PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED WORK – we will consider publishing, but you must let us know if/ when/ where the piece was previously published.
PAYMENT -No, sorry. Mom will be proud.
RESPONSE TIME between one minute and never. Please don’t take offense. This is a one man operation.
If you would like to be considered for publication, submit here: nocureforthat@mac.com
about THE HERMIT with DAVIS FLEETWOOD
HISTORY: IN 1997, I was the star of a one-person reality TV show that was being shot to air on MTV called THE HERMIT. Really. I was 27 years old, and I thought I was poised for…. something, I guess. The show had me locked in a studio apartment with hidden cameras all over the place. When the show got boring, the producers hired actors to pretend that they were my friends, old lovers, whatever. I kind of lost it. Couldn’t tell the difference between my real life and my scripted one. The show- THE HERMIT- never aired. I went underground. For the last ten years, I have lived under an assumed name, held regular jobs, even taught high school. I passed as a regular guy. Recently, however, the NCFT folks found me and convinced me to take up the project again, on my own terms. Perhaps the MTV people will release the old tapes. In any event, thanks to NCFT, my assumed identity has been tossed off. I’m a dead man resurrected. Now, in 2007, I am, once again- THE HERMIT.
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